A LITTLE LAUGHTER…
Senator Louisiana Senator John Kennedy is noted for saying…
“The human brain is an amazing organ, it starts working in a mother’s womb, and it only stops working when it gets elected to the US Congress.”
Other people say:
“The human brain is an amazing organ, it starts working in a mother’s womb, and it only stops working when it enters politics.”
Senior Parachute Club
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. "Like sitting around the pool, drinking wine isn't a good thing?" I asked.
She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellas.
So, I did and when I got home, decided to play a prank on her.
I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 86-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!"
The line went dead.
Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.
ANOTHER DANGER OF CORONA VIRUS
First Israeli Death
My friend David just emailed me from Israel to tell me that the first Israeli death attributed to the virus has just been announced.
It was a man who had been in isolation for two weeks with his wife.
She strangled him…
HOMEMADE CORONA VIRUS PROTECTION
The logic is...immaculate.
There were two clever nuns
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It was getting dark and they were still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to have sex with us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
A little while later...
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course, it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
… RANDOM FACTS
UPS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE
(This is long, but it’ll brighten your day…)
Sean McCarren, a UPS driver, created a group, named UPS Dogs, was an instant hit. It currently has an overwhelming 1.4 million viewers. Once you check out the page, you’ll immediately understand what the fuss is about.
Apart from dogs and cats, the page also features other critters as well, such as chickens, sheep, goats, geese, and alpacas. These photos are posted by other UPS drivers who encounter the animals along their route.
McCarren shares that once you run into the same dogs over and over, you can’t help but form a special bond with them. It’s like meeting a new friend whom you look forward to seeing every day.
What’s great about the page is how it spreads purely positivity. There is absolutely no hate on the page.
The page also features the relationships these drivers form with the rest of the community.
Even UPS approves of the page, stating that it’s a great way to show how lovable their drivers are.
ONE NATION UNDER GOD